The Cost of Being Too Nice? Your Sanity. Here’s How to Reclaim It
- Laketta Willis
- Feb 11
- 3 min read
Let’s get straight to it: always being more than accommodating is costing you your peace, your energy, and quite frankly, your glow. The real question is—what exactly are you getting out of playing the “nice” position? Seriously, what’s the reward? Umm… NOTHING!
Let me be clear—I’m not telling you to be rude, bitter, or unkind. But what I am saying is that you do not have to be the one who always says yes, the one who bends, adjusts, accommodates, and reshuffles your life for everyone else while your own needs sit on the back burner. Because let’s be real, sis—who is doing the same for you? Exactly.
Being overly nice will have you exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from your own goals. It will drain your creativity, steal your joy, and make you wonder why you feel so depleted. Trust me, I’ve been there. And the worst part? When you’re always available for others, they come to expect it. They start treating your time like an unlimited resource, which it is not.
So, what’s the alternative? How do you move away from being nice and start protecting your peace? Here’s how:
1. Vett What is Worth Your Time and Energy
Not everyone and everything deserves access to you. Let’s say that again: not everyone and everything deserves access to you. Too often, we let people in just to be seen as “nice.” Nope! That stops today. Your time and energy are precious, and you have the right to decide who and what is worth it. If something (or someone) is draining you, reevaluate. If it doesn’t align with your peace, your goals, or your joy—it’s a no for me, chyle.
2. Say NO—And Mean It
I don’t know if I’ve told you this before, but "No" is a complete sentence. Period. No explanation required.
If you’re new to the Say No club (welcome, sis!), here are a few ways to decline gracefully:
“Unfortunately, my time doesn’t permit.”
“I’m not available for that.”
“That’s not something I can commit to right now.”
Or just a simple, “No.”
You do not owe anyone an explanation for protecting your time.
3. Become Unavailable—Unapologetically
Being constantly reachable is a trap that will have you stretched thin. So let’s normalize not picking up every call, not responding to every text within five minutes, and not rearranging our schedule just to accommodate someone else.
Be so into living your life that people start wondering where you are. Invest in yourself, your peace, your projects, and your joy. It’s not about ghosting people—it’s about making yourself the priority instead of the afterthought.
4. Value Your Time Above Anyone Else’s
Let’s be honest—people love wasting your time when they don’t have to pay for it. And if you let them, they will keep doing it.
The truth is, your time is your most valuable asset. You can’t get it back once it’s spent. So, before you agree to anything, ask yourself:
“Is this adding to my peace or draining it?”
“Will this benefit me in any way, or is it just another energy suck?”
“Would this person make the same sacrifice for me?”
If the answer to these questions is no, then guess what? Your answer should be too.
5. Stop Over-Explaining Yourself
Over-explaining is a habit born out of people-pleasing. It’s the I-don’t-want-to-upset-anyone syndrome, and trust me, you don’t need it. You are a grown-ass woman—you do not need to justify your choices to anyone.
The only exception? If you’re married or in a serious partnership, yes, communication is key (because I’m not trying to get anybody cussed out on my watch). But for everyone else? They’ll be alright.
6. Release the Guilt
Listen, sis, you are not responsible for how people react to your boundaries. Read that again.
You’re not a bad person for saying no. You’re not selfish for prioritizing yourself. You’re not mean for protecting your energy. And anyone who makes you feel guilty for putting yourself first is someone who benefitted from you putting yourself last.
And that’s exactly why you need to keep doing it.
All I'm saying is... Protect Your Peace, Sis
Life is too short to be run ragged by everyone else’s demands while your own dreams sit untouched. You have things to accomplish, goals to crush, and peace to maintain. And being nice at your own expense? That’s a price too high to pay.
So go ahead—reclaim your time, say no with confidence, and start living for YOU.
Because your peace is priceless. 💕
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