Imperfect In Love: New Goals

Love is such a beautiful, yet scary emotion to navigate and understand. It’s defined differently by everyone which is absolutely amazing to me. The multiple ways that love is defined by others really allows you to have different perspectives of the word and how it transforms and transitions multiple seasons of our lives. To truly understand love, you must first know how the world defines it.

Per, the Webster Dictionary, “love” is a quality or feeling of strong or constant affection for and dedication to another. While that’s all beautifully stated I identify and define loved slightly different. As, I write this post I’m thinking of the many times that I’ve been in love, falling out of love for another including myself based off of the definition being primarily surrounded by it being a “feeling”. A feeling is not how I define love. Now, don’t get me wrong I believe that love is a feeling but it’s also an action.

We so often try to appear perfect in an imperfect world and that includes wanting love to feel perfect and the people, places and activities that we love to be perfect too. Ummm, let that go!

When I was younger I thought love was a feeling and perfect and when I felt the imperfection of love I detached myself smoothly and swiftly. Thank God for growth! I can say that the men I was in love with in the past did not deserve my attention and how I identified with love was not love it was trauma which was learned in my upbringing, but did I say…Thank God for growth!

It’s funny that love is so scary to some people and they’re always afraid to be open and honest about who and what they love. It’s always covered up with an explanation to make others feel like they’re still in control and not that deep in. When I refer to love I refer to relationships, locations, and things. I primarily refer to relationships due to our lives depend on being in relation with one another whether it’s romantic, business, social, etc.

Love to me can definitely start out as a feeling however over time it evolves and transforms as a choice regardless of what or who you love. It will always end with it being a choice. So often we try to be perfect when it comes to love when in fact love is freeing. When it’s truly love you feel free, like you’re an eagle and can spread your wings or a closed flower now blooming. I don’t care if the love is with yourself it will free you and you’ll feel your growth. It has the power to heal you and give you a better view of life. Being imperfect in love is powerful. We have to get out of the box that this world tries to put us and love in. It’s not always going to feel like a “relationship goals” Instagram post.

I don’t care what you’re choosing to love, it can and is a growth tool. You’re going to have moments when it doesn’t feel comfortable and please understand that it’s perfectly normal. It may even feel scary and a bit overwhelming especially if you have a past of trauma and that’s how you identified with love in the past. Trust the process and allow love to heal you.

When I started my healing journey to learn to love me again I felt soooo uncomfortable. I cried everyday because I felt imperfect and felt like I needed to be perfect in order to give love and receive love. It’s funny how trauma will torment you and give you cloudy judgement and vision. God’s love taught me what imperfect in love looked like. I learned to be kinder to myself and patient. If someone says that they love me or vice versa I’m watching to make sure their actions are aligning with the words that fall out of their mouth.

When I tell someone or something that I love them that means unconditionally. For example, even on the days it’s hard to love going to the gym or to love my significant other because of a misunderstanding I still choose love. It’s a choice and an understanding that no it’s not going to be perfect but it’s definitely freeing and will grow you beyond your wildest dreams. What I simply want to leave you with in this post is to let love move in you and through you. Don't box yourself in and think love is a cookie cutter. It's customizable for you so learn how you identify it in every area of your life and grow with it as you learn more about yourself.

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