Are You Settling For Mediocrity?

It’s levels to doubts and fears that quite naturally effect your relationships including the relationship with yourself. Why settle for b.s. when you could have so more in life. A major part of life are relationships and I can’t stress this enough. Many times, when we think about goals, we think career and business. I’m more concerned about my life goals and that I’m not settling for mediocrity in any area of my life.

One of the main questions I ask myself is “are your settling?” this is some real ish! Over the last couple of years, I’ve had a chance to get to know myself on such an intimate, spiritual level. One thing that I noticed is that I was settling in a few areas of my life. I deserve the best and it’s now a requirement in my life. It’s my "non-negotiable". You must know what your non-negotiables are so that you do not settle for mediocrity. Some of the areas I do not negotiate with are:

• Personal development. It’s an absolute must that I become a better version of myself daily. There's no skipping a few steps in this area.

• Better Sleeping Habits. I’m not apart of the “team no sleep” movement. I’m going to get my rest. I rather be known for being healthy rather than known for overworking my body to an unhealthy status. I will not negotiate my health for anyone or anything.

• Luxury Living. Yes, hun there’s a certain lifestyle I promised myself and I will live that lifestyle unapologetically and so should you.

• Release of living in survival mode. This is a big non-negotiable for me. I refuse to return to the survival mode living lifestyle. This is the mode where you settle for anything just to survive. It makes you unhappy and I just will not do it!

• My man. I will not negotiate the man of my life. This is an area that I allow GOD to do his work and I’m extremely quiet so he can make it do what it do baaaaaby! Babe I’ve gotten it wrong every time so now it’s time for me to sit back and let God do that wonderful thing he does and give me what he knows first and foremost that I need and I know he will automatically insert many of my wants in my future spouse. I will not negotiate just to have a piece of man.

Why do women (or anyone for that matter) settle?

I use to ask myself this very question when I was in a season of settling and truth be told until you’re ready for the truth to lay so gently in your spirit then you will never accept why you’re set to the frequency of mediocrity. Some of the reasons I found that I settled were:

• Generational curse. When I looked back at how my parents, grandparents and great grandparents operated in their life it was all from a place of scarcity and survival mode. They settled for whatever they could get because that’s all they knew how to do.

• Your Inner Circle. Who you hang out with every day or often truly does matters. It’s truth to the quote of “you are the sum of the 5 people you hang out with.” If they are gossipers then you will be a gossiper, if they settled for bs relationships so will you. You must challenge yourself to be honest about your friends and if they are good for your future. If they're not...you know what to do, right? The DOOR!!!

• Old Narratives. We all have an inner narrative that leads our lives. It’s been forced upon us from birth. However, as you’ve gotten older you now have the power to ask yourself if the narrative that was forced on you is accurate for where you’re headed. Not everything you have been told is true. Just think about if someone tells you that you will never have the career you want. It’s only true if you believe it to be true. You can reject that narrative and create a new narrative that’s conducive to what’s true for you.

What Can We do to Change?

Some of the things I committed to when going through the season of getting to the better of my life by not settling were:

• Prayer. I prayed a lot. You may not believe in Jesus Christ like I do but there’s a higher source that you plug into that gives you encouragement to be a better individual so do what’s best for you.

• Set boundaries. Setting boundaries are crucial because you may have always accepted people overstepping and intruding in your life because that’s just how it’s always been. From your parents, to your friends and maybe even your management team at your job. Set those boundaries and honor them so that others will also honor them.

• Create distance from people and places that no longer bring out the best in you. This is something that takes time to understand. Especially in a family dynamic. I’m a firm believer in checking in with yourself while you’re around people to ask yourself if you’re feeling at peace, calm, happiness or anxiety. You have energetic receptors that will alert you to what environments you thrive in and that brings you joy and peace.

• Affirm your life. One way to never settle for mediocrity especially if you have that inner narrative that’s still lingering in scarcity and negativity and that’s to implement affirmations in your every day life. At the beginning it will feel super-duper fake but keep going. Every time that you state your affirmations it’s becoming real to your subconscious so please keep going and please never give up on you.

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